Dear friends,
No week goes by when I do not see patients who have lost their dear
ones, sometimes in the prime of their lives. It is extraordinarily
difficult to accept such a loss. To reconcile, we search for a meaning.
Some of the thoughts we consider include: those who have departed
didn't suffer any more than they had to, are at a good place, are
fulfilling some purpose where ever they are, and that God needed them
more than us who are left behind.
Often times I feel we are playing a rigged game here, in this life.
Love creates longing and expectations that plant the seeds for loss and
hurt. Loss is an inherent part of the gain. For the Sun to rise in the
East it has to set in the West and vice versa.
In that case what are our choices? Either remain hidden in Chrysalis -
safe, albeit fearful and unaccomplished, or be willing to accept the
loss and hurt. Each lovely snowman will eventually melt. The joy is
not in the snowman lasting through the summer, unreal as it is. The joy
is in making the snowman, carving it the way you like, sharing some
laughter and memorable moments that get frozen in time.
So how to play this rigged game. Recognize that it is abnormal not to
suffer or to remain mindful all the time. Love the precious people in
your lives knowing fully well that you will lose them some day. Time is
finite for all of us. It will be easier to say Good bye when you have
loved and were able to show it. Keep desires, knowing fully well that
some of those desires will not be met.
Make your snowmen and watch them melt, knowing that it will snow again
some day. In Rochester, for sure!
- Amit
Amit Sood MD MSc
Associate Professor of Medicine
Chair, Mayo Mind Body Initiative
Director of Research & Practice, CIM Program
Associate Director, GIMRF
Mayo Clinic Rochester 55905
507 538 0621
No week goes by when I do not see patients who have lost their dear
ones, sometimes in the prime of their lives. It is extraordinarily
difficult to accept such a loss. To reconcile, we search for a meaning.
Some of the thoughts we consider include: those who have departed
didn't suffer any more than they had to, are at a good place, are
fulfilling some purpose where ever they are, and that God needed them
more than us who are left behind.
Often times I feel we are playing a rigged game here, in this life.
Love creates longing and expectations that plant the seeds for loss and
hurt. Loss is an inherent part of the gain. For the Sun to rise in the
East it has to set in the West and vice versa.
In that case what are our choices? Either remain hidden in Chrysalis -
safe, albeit fearful and unaccomplished, or be willing to accept the
loss and hurt. Each lovely snowman will eventually melt. The joy is
not in the snowman lasting through the summer, unreal as it is. The joy
is in making the snowman, carving it the way you like, sharing some
laughter and memorable moments that get frozen in time.
So how to play this rigged game. Recognize that it is abnormal not to
suffer or to remain mindful all the time. Love the precious people in
your lives knowing fully well that you will lose them some day. Time is
finite for all of us. It will be easier to say Good bye when you have
loved and were able to show it. Keep desires, knowing fully well that
some of those desires will not be met.
Make your snowmen and watch them melt, knowing that it will snow again
some day. In Rochester, for sure!
- Amit
Amit Sood MD MSc
Associate Professor of Medicine
Chair, Mayo Mind Body Initiative
Director of Research & Practice, CIM Program
Associate Director, GIMRF
Mayo Clinic Rochester 55905
507 538 0621
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