I AM

                           "I AM the author and perfector of the beginning and the end.." 

Paradox

        

I WENT out to the woods to-day
To hide away from you,
From you a thousand miles away—
But you came, too.
And yet the old dull thought would stay,
And all my heart benumb—
If you were but a mile away
You would not come.

                                                      Jessie B. Rittenhouse

"Let go or be dragged."

Family-Friends

There was something strong about this particular music that randomly played, immediately bringing back a string of bittersweet memories of my life all these years. And how better emphasized in the rare companionship of my childhood best-friend and sister in a road-trip; it totally killed me. Or rather it was a simple yet profound reminder of OUR friendship running from since we were kids to adults at the prime of our lives. Maybe most who grew up in the 90’s can relate to my words: the song ‘Graduation’ by Vitamin C. Listen to it right now as I elaborate. There is something powerful about the song that immediately grabs you and throws you back in time. “And so we talked about the rest of our lives, where we are going to be when we turn 25..” Yup, finally we ARE 25 and we catch ourselves listening to the very song that used to define our childhood meaning of BFFs. Only tears can express the emotions you feel because you agree with every single word in the song… “can we survive it out there, can we make it somehow?” Yes, we did make it somehow and we are still together like nothing happened, and we promise to be friends forever. That moment made the trip so satisfying and fulfilling. Thank you to my childhood bestie and sister who can make me feel like I am still the same sister and friend that they love, despite the circumstances of our different lives.

“And if you got something you need to say, you better say it right now cause you don’t have another day” –Graduation Vit C

If you suddenly remember an old friend that you hardly keep in touch with, it is not accidental or a coincidence, it is fated. So take a second of your busy life to send a quick ‘Hi’ through any of the various forms of communications we have now. You never know what it could mean to the friend at that instant. Mostly, you do not want to regret that you never reached out when it becomes too late.

Cheers to ‘family’ and ‘friends’ when the two become interchangeable in your life. 

"Loss does not always have to be death, but also a friend." - My sis

Dear friends,   

No week goes by when I do not see patients who have lost their dear
ones, sometimes in the prime of their lives.  It is extraordinarily
difficult to accept such a loss.  To reconcile, we search for a meaning.
Some of the thoughts we consider include:  those who have departed
didn't suffer any more than they had to, are at a good place, are
fulfilling some purpose where ever they are, and that God needed them
more than us who are left behind. 

Often times I feel we are playing a rigged game here, in this life.
Love creates longing and expectations that plant the seeds for loss and
hurt.  Loss is an inherent part of the gain.  For the Sun to rise in the
East it has to set in the West and vice versa.

In that case what are our choices?  Either remain hidden in Chrysalis -
safe, albeit fearful and unaccomplished, or be willing to accept the
loss and hurt.  Each lovely snowman will eventually melt.  The joy is
not in the snowman lasting through the summer, unreal as it is.  The joy
is in making the snowman, carving it the way you like, sharing some
laughter and memorable moments that get frozen in time.  

So how to play this rigged game.  Recognize that it is abnormal not to
suffer or to remain mindful all the time.  Love the precious people in
your lives knowing fully well that you will lose them some day.  Time is
finite for all of us.  It will be easier to say Good bye when you have
loved and were able to show it.  Keep desires, knowing fully well that
some of those desires will not be met.  

Make your snowmen and watch them melt, knowing that it will snow again
some day.  In Rochester, for sure!

- Amit

Amit Sood MD MSc
Associate Professor of Medicine
Chair, Mayo Mind Body Initiative
Director of Research & Practice, CIM Program
Associate Director, GIMRF
Mayo Clinic Rochester 55905 
507 538 0621

                                           Here comes the Sun, little darling..